Writing A Dating Profile


Writing a good dating profile is the most important step you will take in the internet dating world.  You wouldn't dream of going out on a date without preparation, so don't do it online. 

The first thing you need to know is who you are writing for.

The Perfect Partner In Mind

Write down, in as much detail as possible, a description of your perfect partner.  Write your dating profile for that person as if you were in conversation with them.  Basically write how you talk and not how you think you should write.

Look at a lot of other people's profiles to see which ones work for you.

After you write each line, ask the question, 'So what?'.  If it is worth keeping then rewrite that line again.  Throw away anything that is irrelevant.

It is best NOT to write lines like "If you are a player then don't reply as I have had bad experiences before".  You see these all the time.  All this is actually saying is "I been had before so I have a weakness.  Now that I've told you what it is, why don't you have a go?".  You might think you have learnt from experience and can see them coming, however, wolves don't just show up in sheep's clothing but in all sorts of outfits.

Let Their Imagination Work For You

Don't be too specific.  You haven't the time and space to waste. Any movie director will tell you that the human imagination is more powerful than anything they could show on screen.

Always be totally honest.  One understandable exception.  Don't give your actual birthday or age on any internet site, unless it is for legal reasons such as your bank account.  Identity thieves get everywhere. On the other hand don't be misleading by altering your age too much, it has no long term benefit.

The Right Mix

Don't just write a rave review about yourself.  Your dating profile should blend your good points with a few of your bad.  Keeping the balance, keeps your credibility.

Don't just make a claim about yourself, show that you have that quality.  Don't write 'I have a sense of humor' and write the most serious, driest dating profile that you ever read.  I know it can be difficult to show your sense of humor in writing but keep an eye on yourself for a few days.  Really identify what makes you laugh when you read it and borrow it.  Ok, I guess I am saying steal it.  It doesn't matter.  You are not auditioning for a creative writing course you are giving an example of what makes you laugh and if it makes them laugh then you've successfully identified a shared sense of humor.  Which is great, which is cool and what you wanted.  Right?

It's You And Them

Don't write lines like ''My friends say I am....'.  This is about you and the person you are writing for.  Someone else's opinion is not relevant.  Everyone will see you in their own way.  You may need external support for your self esteem and confidence but you don't need to reveal that...just yet. 

Write about what you want.  What you are looking for.  Not every site sets aside part of the dating profile page for this, so include it in your personal description.  Always use 'you'.  Phrases like 'You are...',  'You can...', 'You would...', it draws the reader in and they can start applying what you are saying to themselves and see how they fit.

Rewrite Until It's Perfect

Refine your dating profile, rewrite it over and over.  Spend hours working on it.  If you are truly serious about finding someone on the internet then do not rush this step.  I was about to say 'even if you you have a drop dead gorgeous photo'.  What I would say is 'Especially if  you you have a drop dead gorgeous photo'.  In the words of William Butler Yeats, writing about his daughter:

May she be granted beauty and yet not
Beauty to make a stranger's eye distraught,
Or hers before a looking-glass, for such,
Being made beautiful overmuch,
Consider beauty a sufficient end,
Lose natural kindness and maybe
The heart-revealing intimacy
That chooses right, and never find a friend.

Enough.  To give you a better idea at least.  These advice pages can drag on sometimes and I wouldn't want to be accused of that.

An Example Dating Profile

OK, here's a little personal exposure.  This is the dating profile I used.  It uses all the rules I've given up above.  It's honest, informative, imaginative and probably not to your personal taste but that doesn't matter to me.  What it does is target my dream woman.  It doesn't matter if you are a guy or gal, the same rules apply.

About Me
I'm always looking forward to the future and finding the good and fun parts of it. I'm extremely confident but I know my shortcomings. I know to admit when I'm wrong. I don't have enough fingers for all the pies I want to get my fingers into. I'm privileged to have a lot of diverse friends from all walks of life. I get passionately involved in my big interests in my life. I like snow more than sun. I prefer character to cute, goats to kittens and playing music to listening to it. I know how to treat a woman with a breakfast tray. Sport is for doing not watching. I'm affectionate, have my romantic but original moments, appreciate fun and funny, talk and write too much..... I've been a musician, writer, skipper, salesman, computer nerd, company director, bad dancer, good lover, martial artist, internet marketeer, millionaire, pauper, singer, father, son, inventor, therapist, but mostly tried hard to be a good man and a better man. I will be a lot of other things before I am done, but I would most like a woman to take care of, to love, to inspire and be inspired by....

About You
You can make me smile even when you're not with me. You can be passionate and spontaneous. You would look great coming out of a djinni's bottle and know what my three wishes would be. You can love deeply and be loved. You don't live in the past and expect the best of the future. You can smile even when soaked on a wet day. You are mostly bubbly and light but sometimes dark. You would never take me too seriously and could make me laugh in case I took you too seriously. You have a great looking little black number as well as an old pair of jeans that have become part of the family. You know how to change your mind at the last moment and make it seem the most sensible thing in the world. You love and adore me despite all my imperfections and you always will.

Final Word

If you have anything you would like to add on how to write a dating profile then please get in touch. We will be pleased to pass on any wisdom you have to offer.


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